A new year rolls in like one more wave hitting the shoreline. Consistent, predictable and always changing the structure of the shore.
Celebrating a new year goes back about 4 millennia! Although each civilization celebrated at different times with their own traditions, the basis remained the same, it was a new start. A rebirth. A time of change and more opportunities.
We have many traditions that are celebrated in current times around the world. One of the most popular is a "setting of resolutions" for the new year. Creating a plan to make changes for our better- which often are composed of giving something up. Now, I am all for improving our lives and giving up habits that do not benefit us. But many resolutions fail, because people don't start at the basis, they WHY of these things. In order to create lasting change, structures from the base up need to be changed.
I was reading a really wonderful blog about this New Moon coming up tomorrow. Now, I love to set intentions and do spell work by the full and new moons- and this one is special!
First New Moon of 2019 (and new moons are a time to set what we want to grow)
partial eclipse (always adds a little magic)
and it's in Capricorn (the sign of achievement and determination).
so anyway, I found a blog post about this New Moon in Capricorn. Since I know little about the astrological side of things, I just read what the experts say about these events. This blog was awesome. I'll confess, I don't understand all the first house 15 degree stuff......but I did take a lot away from this blog by Francoise of Holistic Bodywork.
I think my favorite part is when she talked about the setting of new rules. She said, "Capricorn is to create your own set of rules that are independent of all paradigms you have brought up… cultural, societal, gender, religious, parental, racial… Whatever it is, Capricorn says “it is time to create your own set of rules of what you will and will not do”. And these rules will help you make any decision, big and small, without falling prey to the temptations and distractions that are there in your daily life. Your own set of rules will give you the discipline to not only fulfill your desires, your dreams, your mission…, but they will replace the need to rely on willpower to overcome these daily challenges, and to resist temptation. Willpower is draining and it is like constantly fighting.Instead you are going to have a set of personal rules that support you to be productive, conscious, and help you engage in positive behavior that is totally in sync with your purpose, with your destiny, with your Soul Mission, your Dharma. These are what you should align your dreams with, what your Soul is yearning to do to serve the world."
This is where my heart is right now. Creating new rules for myself. This is where change happens, as we examine what we believe and why. We need to explore whether or not these rules we follow are ours or if they are something we have been taught to believe are ours.
Here are a few things our rules should not be:
Our rules should not be fear based
Our rules should not be ego driven
Our rules should be not our rules just because someone told us they are
What should our rules be?
Our rules should help us release negative habits.
Our rules should help us align with our true selves and true purpose
Our rules should help us to have more confidence in our choices
If you are not sure where to start, then examine the rules that already play in your mind, and then re-write the ones that do not serve your highest good.
I will share with you one of my new rules. It is a rule that has changed for me over the last 2 years, as I have begun this journey to self awareness, self happiness and self love.
Old Rule: You should always put others needs first, that is humble and it is selfish to want anything for yourself.
New Rule: I will do all things in love, and that includes love for myself.
You see, that old rule- it is honestly a hard one for me to let go of. I am a caretaker at heart, and I am also a recovering co-dependent. I have to remind myself that letting go of that old rule doesn't mean I won't still give of myself to my people and those who need me. What it means is that I will no longer give all of me and forsake my needs. I will no longer carry guilt for self care of saying no to someone or something for my own health, wellness and happiness.
You see, that old rule had me in a heap of resentment and bitterness. Always giving to others and never giving to myself. You know what else? It taught people that I don't need anything. I was teaching those around me to NOT give to me, because I did not give to me. So they learned that I just give and give and it was ok. And because I am human, I eventually became bitter about it.
So I set boundaries and began to claim time for myself. I claimed self care as important. I took care of me, because I am not really being humble if I am angry about giving so much, am I? I can't really give much if I am exhausted, sad and unfulfilled, right?
Let me share what changing that one rule did for me. I was 60lbs heavier and addicted to sugar. I avoided my feelings and kept myself busy taking care of everyone else. Changing this one rule, made me take time for myself. I had to look in the mirror and see WHY I was over eating and unhappy. I had to make the change to that foundations, that rule, that structure, before I could lose the weight and be healthier.
No resolution could have ever made me lose that weight. I had to change the underlying cause.
It is crazy what we have adopted as rules in our lives! It is crazy the amount of self torment we put ourselves through, reminding ourselves of these things that are not even working for our highest good.
Here is another rule I heard someone say:
"In order to succeed in this world, you have to take advantage of others or know someone."
How would that serve someone? How would that make you succeed? That absolutely stops you in your tracks and makes it impossible unless you are willing to change your morals.
What if that was changed to, "Success lies in my own integrity with who I am and my innate gifts I have been given."?
Or "The only way to succeed in this world is to believe you will."
When we begin to look at these "rules" we begin to see where we have been holding ourselves back. Examining them should not disappoint us though, because we can just re-write the rules. We can create rules that benefit us, help us achieve our goals and resolutions, and help us to heal ourselves along the way.
Now, I get it, it takes time to do this, and like I said, that one rule, I am still working on it 2 years into this! I can honestly say though that now I am at a point where it is easier to stand behind my boundaries, and do what is best for me. And when doubt creeps in, I remind myself of my new rule.
I actually wrote down my rules today, and wanted to share a few more with you guys, so you can get the feel for this. These are things I needed in my life.
Hard doesn't equal bad or impossible.
There is no failure, only education.
Obstacles are opportunities to be creative or change direction.
So that is my musings for this first New Moon in January 2019.
It falls in Capricorn, so embrace that energy! Work hard, be disciplined, reach your goals. There is not much that Capricorns allow to get in their way. That is a good lesson for me- a Sag through and through. I can be quite content to float here and there and just flicker from one thing to the next. So I know that I am totally embracing this energy and creating some structure, plans and action to reach my goals this year. I hope you do too.
Love, determination and blessings,
PS- Set those intentions tomorrow night with that New Moon for your upcoming year. What are your goals? Write them out. How can you take steps toward achieving them? Light a candle and meditate on the changes you wish to bring into your life. Take time to purposefully set your intentions in some way, any way that feels right to you. When you create a habit of setting your intentions and giving them time and energy each month, you will begin to see a shift! I promise.